Life after an ectopic pregnancy support group in Australia

This article talks about the trials and tribulations of women in Ireland who have experienced ectopic pregnancies and decided to start their own charity to raise awareness for other Irish women.

Life after an ectopic pregnancy

I'm looking for Australian women who have experienced ectopic pregnancy in their lifetime. So that we can

 1. Create a support network for each other (its kind of embarrassing, I'm stalking the US and UK forums at the moment due to a total lack of response from anyone in the Australian forums. I'm sick of feeling alone in this guys.

2. Create awareness of ectopic pregnancy and the dangers it presents through written and verbal publications.
I noticed that I received no written information whilst i was at and when i left the hospital. At my check ups i was checked physically, hows my pain, how are my staples, am i eating , bowel movements etc....but no "how are you doing emotionally, how is your support network going, what are you doing to heal yourself emotionally.

These are the questions we should be asking women when they confront the seriousness and reality of "dancing with death."


3. Provide a safe place for people to turn to and vent their emotions in an environment that is present when they are experiencing, loss, fear, anger, resentment, guilt, loneliness, frustration and every emotion that comes along with time.

4. Eventually build something to the stage where we too can have a charity, that supports ectopic pregnancy sufferers. I believe we are a class all of our own, we lost our babies yes....but the cherry on top is we almost lost ourselves and we don't think about that when we see that "big fat positive" do we?

We do now.......after an ectopic pregnancy its only natural. Just like the fears, anxieties and the loneliness. Its all natural, yet I had no one in Australia to tell me that.

It felt as though when i checked out of hospital I was handed a shovel, and sent on my way. Out into that mean world that tried to bump me off 6 months into my marriage and leaving my 4 yr old son motherless.I armed myself with that shovel and proceeded to dig myself a  hole that I intended to bury all of my resentment and anger and anxiety. Its hard to know how big to dig this hole when you don't have anyone there to support you, and before I knew it my hole was so big,so dark and so cold that no one could see me anymore, and it became a pit....of depression.

I didn't need a shovel....I needed a hand. A hand to guide me, to point to all the goodness in me, to pat me on the back and make me recognise just how strong I was to survive.

Don't tell me that "I'm Lucky", don't tell me" I'm okay" and don't tell me to "get over it" It doesn't help it just makes me feel more isolated and it hurts. It hurts a lot and it keeps hurting. No one told me that either. There is a lot of stuff we aren't told in Australia when we have an ectopic pregnancy, and I really want that to change.

We need it to change.


Please let me know your thoughts.


Think pink

Janey

Shifting focus.

Lately I am struggling with the whole concept of TTC or (trying to conceive rather) for those of you that are not familiar with the abbreviation. All of the lingo and abbreviations that I have come across whilst snooping around in the baby and mummy forums is quite overwhelming. I realise that I have led such a sheltered existence when it comes to TTC. Noone in my family has had trouble TTC before, 1 of my friends has had trouble with miscarrying but has since pumped out 3 pumpkins in a row with seemingly little effort. Okay thats not true, but she makes it look easy.
Originally after my ectopic pregnancy I thought I would wait for a while to try and fall pregnant again, apart from the fact my husband now looks at me as though if he has sex with  me Ive now got a 15% chance of spontaneously exploding, it made sense to wait until I have healed.

How long does the healing take?

If you lose a pregnancy, foetus, baby whichever you chose to call it do we ever heal? 

I have to remind myself everyday, out loud " Jane you have lost a tube, not... I repeat not your mind!!"
Okay...so maybe I have lost a little bit of my mind somewhere along the way. I think it probably has more to do with being dropped regularly as a baby, but all of my siblings profusely deny.. deny.. deny!! hahaha I do talk to myself a lot though, Im the best support person I know...actually Im a pretty crappy support person but beggars cant be choosers. Im living in a new town, I dont know a soul, I have no friends in the flesh, Im homesick, Im cranky all of the time, Im unemployed and I feel like I am constantly letting down my son and my husband.Blah blah blah rant rant rant...ahhh this feels great. The tricky thing is, this dark little thought slips in through the gaps saying, " If I hadnt lost the baby everything would be perfect right now"

Well we all know thats bullshit! 

Its not true, I know its not true. For one, I would have put on atleast 25 kilograms by now, bitching about the weather and how tired I am and how I cant wait to be able to see my ankles again, guzzling antacids repeatedly to beat the chronic heartburn stressed out of my brain that something might go wrong.Waking from nightmares of giving birth to a blue mutant..yay!And thats before the birth!!!Why do I feel like Im missing out here again, I forget?

 From now on Im now shifting my focus. Im going to TTC. Except now I'm going to create instead of conceive.

Trying To Create!

• Im going to try and heal through creating art.
• I will invest more energy in creating a happy home
• I want to actively create awareness of ectopic pregnancy.

If in the meantime, we create a baby well...that would be awesome. I dont necessarily believe that babies choose their parents, but in the event that they do... we dont want to come across as too desperate now do we ladies?

Wish me luck!!

Think pink.

Janey